Winter ’24-’25

The holidays have come and gone, both of my daughters hosted and we did our annual visit to Kraynak’s Christmas tree lane. January was bitter cold and now I have a new symptom – severe chest pain when the sub-zero temps hit. There are several days where all I’ve done is sit with the heating pad on my chest just to get some relief. And it’s not like heart attack pain, it’s like a burning in your lungs that radiates to the outside. The best way I can describe it is if you went outside with freezing wind, turned towards the wind and just kept inhaling as much of it as you could stand, you know the kind that literally makes your lungs burn. Well that’s how I feel just sitting inside my warm home and it doesn’t go away until the temperature rises. I am most comfortable once it gets to at least 20 degrees.

February 19th, I return to Cleveland Clinic for my next round of tests. Since it has been a year since my first evaluations I have another echocardiogram done and I meet with the cardiothoracic surgeon this time. The cardiothoracic surgeon reviews the surgical procedure with me and states that my weight is somewhat of an issue, not so much to get listed but will make recovery longer. He would like me to loose weight – yeah, I know, I’ve heard it before. When I meet with Dr. L he reviews the echo, I have developed pulmonary hypertension again despite being on a first line medication for it by my local heart doctor. And my numbers are higher than my first echo back in April 2023. Time to schedule the right and left heart catheterization that they have been delaying. I will have it done when I return in a few months. Otherwise everything else looks stable.

I meet with my local lung dr the day after Cleveland Clinic, we reviewed the plan and he states that he wants me to wear oxygen at night now as well as with activity. He thinks maybe I am breathing to shallow at night and my oxygen levels may be too low. I have a wearable pulse oximeter that fits on my thumb. I have worn it a few times at night and have never really noticed any issues but I will do what the dr suggests.

Somewhere in the last few days my Christian Pandora song has played Strong by Anne Wilson and it has become my new song obsession especially now with this new uncertainty and the realizations that I am really getting worse and could potentially be listed by the end of the year. I really wish I could figure out how to place links for this music but maybe “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” so you’re stuck just reading the lyrics unless you look the songs up for yourselves.

Strong by Anne Wilson

Strong, try to make ’em all think I’m strong. Yeah the face I keep putting on says I ain’t tired but these tear stained eyes ain’t lying.

Cause hard, nobody told me life could be so hard, a weary soul with a worn out hear that’s barely beating but every time I get that feeling

I hit my knees with my hands held high saying, dear Lord Jesus, you know I can’t do this on my own, I can’t do this on my own.

Lord know I’ve tried, but I’m good at falling down, Thank God You’re good at picking me up off the ground. The world’s gonna try to break me but I know the One who makes me strong.

Strong, like my daddy always told me so. There’s a place you can always go when you’ve got nothing and then he handed me the one thing that’s strong, doesn’t matter how old it gets, there’s power in the words in red in this old Bible and when I’m despeate for revival

I hit my knees with my hands held high saying, dear Lord Jesus, you know I can’t do this on my own, I can’t do this on my own. Lord knows I’ve tried but I’m good at falling down, thank God You’re good at picking me up off the ground. The world’s gonna try to break me but I know the one who makes me strong, oh strong.

I’m strong when I’ve got nothing

I’m strong even when I’m weak

Cause the strong arms of my Savior

Are holding on to me.

I hit my knees with my hands held high, saying dear Lord Jesus, You know I can’t do this on my own, I can’t do this on my own. Lord knowns I’ve tried but I’m good at falling down, thank God you’re good at picking me up off the ground. The world’s gonna try to break me but I know the One who makes me strong.