Summer ’25

You may have noticed that I skipped Spring ’25, not much happened during those three months so I didn’t feel that making a post just for the sake of making a post was necessary. Although I did get to celebrate another birthday. Just a little side note, I share my birthday with the first born in our family, my brother, G. I was born on his 17th birthday-what a birthday present, right?! In our family we are known as “Alpha and Omega”. The first and last letters of the Greek alphabet but in the Bible, Revelations 22:13 Jesus refers to himself as “I am the Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End”. I guess my parents thought this was a good definition for us as we were the beginning and the end of the nine children God blessed them with.

At the end of May I was able to see my oldest grandson, K graduate from high school. I remember two years ago just pleading with God that I would get to see that happen and He didn’t let me down. I can’t say that I’m not selfish and hope and pray that I can do the same for my other three grandchildren but I also try to be realistic about it – BUT with God all things are possible! (Matthew 19:26)

The beginning of June brought K’s open house and I was so happy to be able to “help” as much as I could with my portable oxygen concentrator. That same weekend, we celebrated my oldest brother, G and his wife, M’s 50th wedding anniversary! It was a nice time and I got to spend it with my parents sitting across the table from me. My mom was hilarious that day, joking around and just making me smile and laugh so much. It’s a wonderful memory as my mother died just three days later. I will never forget that day for as long as I live. We had just gotten to the ballpark to watch our granddaughter, M’s softball game. We were getting our chairs set up when my phone rang. Because my hands were full I let it go to voicemail. Once I got settled I checked my phone and saw that it was my Dad calling. I listened to the voicemail and knew I needed to call him back. He was asking for me to come to the house because Mom wasn’t feeling well and he didn’t know what to do. I call him back and he describes what’s been going on, I tell him I’m on my way but it’s going to be 20-30 minutes. He tells my mom that I’m on my way. She got up and went to the bedroom – she died in her bed just before I got there but my Dad didn’t know it. But I knew as soon as I walked in to their home. I could feel it! And a little part of me believes that he knew it too. I went back to check on her and I remember standing at the open door of their bedroom. I knew instantly, and I felt sadness and relief at the same time. Sadness for me, my family but mostly for my dad but relief for my mom. She was no longer a prisoner to her failing mind and she has gone to be with the Lord, she’s in a better place than the rest of us. But nothing prepares you for having to tell your dad that his love is gone. He was getting so frail but he insisted on coming back to the room before I called 911. He gently rocked her, hoping she would wake up – I knew she wasn’t, I had already done it all – and then he sat next to her, hand on her hip and just cried, not loud, not wailing just quiet, deep seeded sorrow because I think he was feeling the same sadness yet relief that I felt.

About two weeks after I have my next appointments in Cleveland, several days this time as I have my heart catheterization scheduled with this set of testing. If you remember, my echocardiogram back in February showed that the pulmonary hypertension had returned. The heart catheterization confirms this and I’m diagnosed with moderate pulmonary hypertension. Having pulmonary fibrosis and developing pulmonary hypertension is usually serious enough to get you put on the list for transplant but because I seem to be managing fairly the same Dr. L says that he will have me see a pulmonary hypertension specialist first as maybe there are some medications that can help. I’m scheduled to return in September.

By August, I have gained about 10 pounds despite not changing anything and I’m having more shortness of breath, coughing. I see my local cardiologist, he placed me on Lasix every other day. I see my lung doctor a week later. He doesn’t like that I have to wait until September to see the specialist – he calls Cleveland Clinic transplant center, explains what he sees and they move me up to the end of August. When I return to Cleveland in August, the specialist, Dr. G, explains pulmonary hypertension and states that I’m already starting to have some issues developing in my heart from the additional strain. She places me on two new medications – another water pill, Spironolactone and an inhaler called Tyvaso. I recognize this medication as the original lung dr, Dr. V., mentioned this in his notes back in 2023. The Tyvaso has to have insurance approval so I will have to wait on it. In the meantime, I decide that maybe I should be paying more attention to my oxygen at work as I had become complacent in that area. My first day back to work after this and I can’t even maintain my oxygen levels long enough to get to the first patient room on the nursing unit. Time to discuss this with my manager. We decide that for now the best course of action is to change my assignment, I will work from the office from now on and I will no longer work my Sunday rotations as I can’t work them by myself anymore. I feel horrible that my coworkers are having to pick up my work. I think it’s time I start to think about going on leave.