I have questioned myself many times about whether blogging was even what I was meant to do. My sister brought it up to me several years ago when I was first diagnosed and I just wasn’t comfortable doing it then and I wasn’t sure what it’s purpose was and quite frankly I doubted my own abilities because I am by no means a writer. I struggled with writing papers all thru school and college, brainstorming, proper sentence structure, it just wasn’t my thing. But I have recently found myself on medical leave and I no longer feel like I’m “helping people” and that’s my life’s purpose, so over the last few weeks I have prayed about it, discussed it with my husband (actually I wasn’t very nice about it and for that I hope he can forgive me but I think now he understands why I am doing what I am doing). Well, even after I posted the first 7 days of my diary and getting the support of my husband I still couldn’t get myself to pull the trigger on “putting myself out there”. I prayed this morning while getting ready for pulmonary rehab and on my car ride I put on my Pandora – let me tell you, I received confirmation. I want to share with you the songs that played on my ride to and from rehab today. I don’t know how to load music yet and that’s not the important part anyways, it’s the lyrics. And for those of you that may think I am making this up, I truly am not. I did skip songs that I didn’t know but the rest played in this order. And I know because I had to make a list when I got to rehab, added to it in the parking lot at Aldi and again in my car when I got home because I couldn’t believe it.
Let Go, Let God by Jack Cassidy
My fear got me struck down, got me knocked out by the hands of the enemy. Those lies had me held down, ’til I found out that it not my identity
I found my life when I laid it down and my hope is in You, now my faith is in You Jesus
Chorus – I’m learning to let go and let God, show me how to be me
I’m learning to let go and let God, show me how to be free
Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light
My daily bread and my daily delight
I’m learning to let go and let God, so I can be the real me
I’m giving over my heart for a new start ’cause I’ve come to the end of me
I’m learning that in Your Love there is freedom even for a wretch like me
I found my life when I laid it down and all my hope is in You, now
My faith is in You, Jesus
Back to the Chorus
I’ve been hurting, I’ve been burdened, too long, too long
Fear is falling, chains are breaking, so long, so long
I’ve been hurting, I’ve been burdened, too long, too long
Fear is falling, chains are breaking, so long, so long
Let go, let God; let go, let God; let go, let God, let go and let God
Repeat chorus
Let go, let God; let go, let God; let go, let God, so I can be the real me
Even then I said but God there are people out there that now some of my deepest, darkest secrets; that know the sinner I was and still AM, things I’ve done, things I’ve allowed or turned a blind eye to. They’ll call me a hypocrite, making myself a “holy-ier than though” kind of person if I put myself out there faithfully, spiritually. And then this played;
We ALL Need Jesus by Danny Gokey
We’re so quick to point a finger, we judge things from our point of view. The things that we say, the trouble it makes; it hurts you and it hurts me too. This is such a fallen world we live in, It’s really not the way it’s supposed to be. What if we could see each other different? It’d probably change everything.
Chorus – We’re all broken people, don’t we all need Jesus? Every moment of our lives, 24, 3-6-5. Our human is equal, don’t we all have our weakness? Everybody makes mistakes, everybody needs that grace. We all need Jesus, don’t we all need Jesus?
Everybody needs a Savior, even the ones who think they don’t. We’ve all got stuff we hide, deep down inside there’s so much that we don’t show. Yeah, it’s a wounded world we live in, it’s really not the way it’s supposed to be. Isn’t that the beauty of redemption? It changes everything.
Chorus
From the beggar to the rich man; from the prisoner to the preacher. All I know is we, all need Jesus; all I know is we, all need Jesus. Every man and every woman; every city, every nation. All I know is we, all need Jesus; all I know is that
Chorus
We need Jesus, need Jesus; everybody in the world need Jesus
We need Jesus, need Jesus; everybody in the world need Jesus.
At this point, I have reached the hospital where my pulmonary rehab is and I’m beginning to get the message. What I don’t know yet is the message isn’t complete – not yet. After rehab, Pandora picks up right where it left off
Lead On Good Shepherd by Patrick Mayberry
Well, I’ve been turn ’round but I’ve never been lost, seen the water get troubled but we walked across; when my knees were shaken you held my hand, turning my problems to a promised land.
Chorus – Lead on, Good Shepherd, I’ll follow all my days; There ain’t nothing sweeter that to watch You make a way. You’ve walked me through the vally but You never steered me wrong so lead on Good Shepherd, lead on.
Seen some mighty big canyons that You brought me through, seen some mighty big mountains that just up and moved. Glory, glory Hallelujah, Yeah, that’s my song. Walking with my Father into the great unknown.
Chorus
Step by step, day by day, lead me on Lord I pray; Road gets dark, walk by faith, Lead on, Good Shepherd
Step by step, day by day, lead me on Lord I pray; road gets dark, walk by faith, lead on, Good Shepherd.
Several other songs played but this post is getting long enough so I won’t write the lyrics out but I will mention them as they have spoken to me many times, along with others, and helped me through some of my darkest times in these last few years. I am sure I will share them with you at some point, just not today.
Thank You by Forrest Frank – a song about gratitude even when dealing with struggles
Help Is On The Way by TobyMac
Right On Time by Aaron Cole – one of my favorites, I can’t sit still with this one!
When I Fall by Katy Nichole – a new one from last year, about struggling to find God in your darkest hours, when your faith is shaken.
So, with that I will go ahead and announce my page and pray that the right eyes see it. I don’t know what I am doing, so I just ask for patience while I venture into new territory. If this is the first post you read, I would ask that you now start from the beginning of my story and go back to my very first post about April 26, 2023. At first, I will most likely post at least every other day for a while just to bring my story up to date so this page will be fairly active for a while so stay tuned!
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